Mark Kent

really having to dig deep to write this one.if i do not will not be done full stop.next week it will be ONE YEAR AGO 

since my mum passed away.can hardly beleive it.so far what has helped me is i have asked AUNTS/UNCLES too come

see US ,.as mostly i go to see THEM,  aunt Lynn and colin come yesterday.my dad is away on holiday.I KNEW for a long time

it was like i was given a sign .my mum WOULD go before my dad,anther thing i did was my dad gave me some pages of my mums

address like friends.i wrote to some few weeks after my mum passed away.BUT I DECIDED to finish the address so i sent TEN 

CHRISTMAS CARDS OUT of the remaining..been getting GOOD REPLYS.if people can not stay in contact how can i inform them when 

my dad does go.my mum had very good life ..keeps me going,it is very very hard /difficult too any body who has Aspergers .how they cope

deal with it when family passes away.NO RESEARCH HAS BEEN DONE..to ANY BODY WITH ASPERGERS I SAY THE FOLLOWING

1,keep/stay in contact as much as possible with family,relatives//aunts/uncles,IN-LAWS ONLY IF YOU HAVE GOOD ONES .i do NOT .

2.get them too come see YOU.,really look forward too it.

3.have a cry.IT REALLY HELPS.i think even more so having aspergers.I THINK having a cry has HELPED STOP ME FROM HAVING COMPLETE

MELT DOWNS,..ALL SO THINK that that person who passed away .WOULD NOT WANT TOO SEE YOU GOING DOWN HILL,witch many PEOPLE

have been waiting for TOO SEE ME,

                              mark

i have done 3 interviews .as it is christmas .will be delays .really looking at 015 next year .then write them on my blog

Tabithas Father come by today .FULL OF CORSING TROUBLE,had a really bad go at Tabitha.MY WIFE .calling her mental

useless,among other things.AND TABITHA IS EXSPECTING,very very sick TWISTED tabithas PARENTS ARE...they have too

corse trouble BELITTLE there own daughter.it has made christmas very upsetting for US.my dad is on holiday unaware how

long .as it is very close to one year ago MY MUM.passed away.just can not beleive it is one year ago.i knew for a long time.

that my mum would go BEFORE MY DAD...a feeling i so hated.detested.i have not seen my dad since ,.in  a way i am looking

at it as my dad will NOT come to cambridgeshire ON HIS OWN .he has granchildren too see.they OFTEN come TOO GETHER.

would not be the same too upsetting.and my dad had a stroke lost one side use of his arm.BUT MY DAD DOES HAVE GRANCHILDREN

TOO SEE.and in MARCH 015 NEXT YEAR . will have four gran-children ...,i find it very very sad that  my parents NEVER DID THINK THEY 

WOULD HAVE ...ANY GRAN-CHILDREN,...from ME being the disabled one of our family.EVEN A GREAT GREAT DEAL MORE SO A GIRL

ISABELLA ROSE. very first girl from  OUR SIDE OF FAMILY FOR A LOT LOT YEARS.

i mite write one before christmas day,if i do not..HAPPY CHRISTMAS TOO ONE AND ALL

                                            mark

our oldest son . goes too college ,last thursday Evening i went with Jason too his Parents evening.Jason come with me. we saw about six different teachers,i was very touched .what ALL teachers was saying about Jason ,AMAZED.gets on with his work .asks for help,very 

Polite.very helpful.THATS MY BOY.very very very PROUD OF JASON MARK.doing so well.doing so good Even for having a DISABLED FATHER

Jason has said too US and teachers he was too work have a job.NOT ONE OF THE TEATHERS said they could put a fault on Jason.with ANY OF

OUR CHILDREN we will NOT Push them .any thing they DO NOT WANT TOO DO.leave it up too THEM have their life,we /i will not go at jason .if 

Jason is happy.we are.jason does what he wants too..NO PRESSURE .Starts taking exams very soon .I say too jason and Tabitha ,TRY the best

You can .NO MATTER WHAT THE RESULTS YOU HAVE TRYED .give it your best go best shot.no body can do any more .FROM what Jason has done .work i was shown JASON SHOULD BE VERY VERY PRPOUD////,,, I AM,TABITHA IS..Jason is lot older these days .age 14 .about as tall as i am

and as tall as Tabitha..I do so wish Jason would talk to me more,it is sort of like I AM THE DISABLED FATHER .WHAT DO I KNOW ,.

ON THIS DAY SATURDAY 13 TH DECEMBER .TIME HALF PAST TEN A NIGHT .014 ,i am going to say some VERY SPEACAL NEWS

Jason our oldest is 14 years old. Lewis who is 11 years old .then OUR DAUGHTER ..isabella rose who is three years old BUT ..WAIT WAIT

we have another one on the way..OUR BABY BUMP IS DUE MARCH 015 Next year...WOW ,WOW over the moon.really raelly NOT bothered at

all  what we have.even another Boy,AS LONG AS HE//SHE ARE FINE.OK, HEALTHY.,

                                                        Mark

the other week i was asked a question ..How do i find the courage to be honest//open about my conditions

i am older than most.so that gives me an edge,people can take it or leave it.i have a long list health problems

have these seven days a week.bladder//bowel problems .MOST DAYS I AM REALLY SHITTY.i all ways say how i

feel.having aspergers i exsplain in great detail.so I UNDERSTAND .as for friends //family .you would think they

would understand be more aware that by talking in detail about the conditions family/friends will THINK THAT

YOU ARE HELPING OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE SAME CONDITIONS .AND BY TALKING ABOUT IT YOU ARE

HELPING YOUR SELF.even more so having aspergers it is every day effecting in very different ways.IF FRIENDS

FAMILY CAN NOT SEE THIS ,it is there great great LOSS.the person who asked me this gets my blog so they will

be reading ..,if i did not talk in great detail it would corse me meltdowns..i am the person with these problems .lot

more THAN MOST PEOPLE .why should I NOT TALK .because of what FRIENDS//FAMILY THINK //WHAT THEY SAY

i have THREE INTERVIEWS COMING UP.two i am waiting for there replies too my questions

                                                mark

wait a cockin pickin min here do i see red faces, yes you see..sex.., very rare subject ware Autism//aspergers is 

i have so far taken part in TWO sex researchs .on the internet .one was fron Canada ,isabelle Henault 

the second was from Australia. I HAVE THESE RESULTS. on both researchs OVER nine hundred people with

Aspergers took part.that in its self says how effected sex and aspergers are.very very sadly there is NO SEX RESEARCH

HERE IN ENGLAND for aspergers.I FIND THIS VERY VERY DISGRACEFUL...people like MYSELF we are very very aware

about sex .what happens.BUT WE ARE VERY VERY ..UN...AWARE ABOUT OUR  BODIES.how confusing can this get..we 

are more aware about sex THAN WHA T MOST PEOPLE ARE.ISABELLE HENAULT .when she did her sex research with it

isabelle had a book published about sex//aspergers .IT IS A BIBLE TOO ANY BODY WITH ASPERGERS ..very very detailed

all ways been very very impressed by this book ..i think any body with Aspergers ..PUBERTY IS HELL,i think what helps well

what helped me the most was SEEING IN PERSON PEOPLE NAKED/NUDE ...BEING NAKED.NUDE is a very big part of

having Apergers.

                                                         mark

this is SKIN PICKING,, PULLING OUT YOUR HAIR

most effect when person has aspergers ..as i am getting older THE MORE AND WORSOR IT IS GETTING FOR MYSELF

skin picking,pulling out hair,Pubic Hair REASON WHY I SHAVE THERE.scratching ,anxiety,stress,noise,jumping,rocking.

all these are effected nail biting. OFTEN unaware you are doing any of these.when these happen TOO ME .i will skin pick

until i am red rare /bleeding,big patch as well . i do find it even more difficult TOO STOP once i have started.at the worst

there will be very very red rare like a beet root. skin picked off and bleeding .,this has happened a lot years .b ut lately is

a lot lot worsor..i do not like it.but enjjoy it,some times it has been exstreme for me.like pulling my pubic hairs out.hate

detest them so too stop me//help me i shave the pubic hairs OFF .very often.SAVES ME , Pulling them out.VERY RARE

IT IS TALKED ABOUT by people with aspergers .yet it is SO EFFECTING...i am the kinda person to talk WARE MOST PEOPLE

FAIL...,the anxiety alone is very exstreme.embarassing.

                            mark

there will be more interviews coming up very soon with different people 

at the moment i am busy planning OUR CHRISTMAS.., no..inlaws from hell.i am inviting MY RELATIVES ..AUNTES UNCLES .FRIENDS 

around ours for christmas drink mince pies.IN LAWS WILL NOT DARE JUST TURN UP..UN INVITED ,last year what they did was it.

Christmas day they come around presents for our children FAIR ENOUGH ..but wait a cockin pickin min here .these are NOT like most

Parents //inlaws ,sat there and said to my wife//HER DAUGHTER .we are staying here for a christmas meal.NOT ASKING .NO. NOT THEM

BAS......whole day christmas day i spent UP STAIRS .if i come down they would said//accused me of some thing i had not said or done.JUST

LIKE IN THE PAST,tabitha slaved to cook them a christmas meal .then they said to Tabitha it was a rubbish meal.left great deal mess to clean 

up .Did NOT offer too wash/wipe up,did NOT offer ANY MONEY..well this christmas IF THEY DARE TURN UP while any of my relatives /friends

are here THERE WILL BE FIRE WORKS .THEY ARE Disgusted with in laws how they treat my wife and me ,I MYSELF HAVE NOTHING BUT

HATE FOR THEM ,DISGRACE .ASHAMED OF BOTH THE B......S,

                              mark

we have no help at all in trying too move.very up set living here .house in-laws from hell own.no repairs are  done .gas pipes never checked

radiator never checked,we have mice here,one place we want too move too .we can not .reall y sticks rotten.my parents never really asked

for that much help.i have done every thing i possibly can on my own.it could be we have to go into a hostal too get a house.my dad said this will

be good.WAIT A VERY BIG SECOND HERE,if this was just me and tabitha i would say fine .VERY BIG BUT. we have 3 children .one has aspergers

if there is the slightest change too his day our son has tottal melt downs.screaming .punching hitting.PEOPLE DO NOT SEE THIS .in my life being 

disabled i have fought long and hard to have a life a family.I WAS NOT JUST GOING TO BE A DISABLED PERSON..not seen .not heard .and i have 

proved this lot lot times.IF IT WAS NOT FOR ME MY PARENTS WOULD NOT HAVE GRAND CHILDREN .and i am the disabled one. my father often

reminds me he has worked hard for money in his life.VERY VERY TRUE..however and a very big how ever is if this was my brother .THE NORMAL 

ONE OF THE FAMILY.lot lot more would be done too help.NOT FROM ANY BODY HAVE I HAD THIS,,,well a friend called John.but rarely see him

having too move in to a hostal would corse great deal trouble for our son with aspergers .i have aunties//uncles never offer.miricles happen 

very rarely.my dad some times reads my blog so i exspect some words said to me.Tabitha and i do not feel safe living here any more .it is really 

costing us more money too live here.MOST PEOPLE WOULD SEE US SUFFER..not thinking of children we have , BABY BUMP ON THE WAY 

the amount of things tabitha and i have done for other people.our daughter age three .OUR DAUGHTER. the very first girl from our side of 

family in a lot lot years.if it was not for me .would not have a daughter//grandaughter.very very very often PEOPLE use me//tabitha for what 

they want then drop us nothing to do this us.

                                                         mark

PART THREE,

1,meltdowns,how these effect you ,the every day effects you have

reply

my melt downs usually involve scratching.biting my hands ripping my hair out.slapping myself across the face and screaming .after a melt down i am exhausted .and need too sleep for several hours to feel better again.i have exserienced isolation at school.when wanted to sit near me and that was horrible .nowadays i prefer my own company a lot and can self isolation with any problems,rather than a result of other peoples ignorance.

2,research have you taken part in any .if yes what, if no why not.

replyi have taken part in genetics research .several years ago with cambridge university .where myself.and family members swabbed the insides

of our cheeks and had the swabs sent off for dna testing.to see if there was A genictic link too aspergers as far as i know in the case of my immedate family.i am the only one who showed genetic link .but it was a long ago now and i cant remember properly.i no longer have the time too 

do research really. although  i always read the latest research.

3.skin picking ,how do you cope

reply.

i pick my skin when i get stressed or anxious .the worst time was a couple of months ago. in september when i went for a job interview WHICH I DID NOT GET,when i scratched my knuckle so much that i still have a scar there today .it scabbed and took two weeks to heal i find that it helps me focus some times when i am anxious full meltdown.but it is still a destucktive habit

4.you,have bowel problems.talk about them.bloating.painful.when did it start.have you had any bullying ,stairing.bad jokes

reply.

my bowel problems are not as severe as yours .they started 7 years ago .after i had a fever.got lot worsor,i get bloated.going to the toilet can be painful .i dont have any continence .and dont experience any accidents ,i have never recieved any bullying or nasty jokes related to my bowels .i have been on medication for this in the past.namely buscopan and medeverine i dont take any medicines as i dont feel that they helped.i do get through  cycles of feeli ng very NAUSEA at night time in pasrticular,but i am never actually sick with it

5.a question for you too ask me

how do i find the courage to be so honest on your blog about how my conditions effect  you .there are some things i could never talk about 

on my blog,because i would not want my friends //family knowing them,..so i am impressed that you are so honest on your blog.

my reply.

 i am older than you .been there had that happen .done this.,i say how i feel ,VERY FEW PEOPLE DO ,i am the person with problems like

aspergers,..M.E. ,bladder/bowel issues.allergies.I HAVE THESE EVERY DAY EXSTREMELY BAD MOST DAYS..if people do not like what i

say how i say it .it is there problem.I take people for who they are.not .NOT,there problems ,disability,HOW EVER,I NEVER AND I MEAN 

NEVER GET THAT BACK FROM ANY BODY AT ALL .,

interview completed

                                    mark

part two.

1,should make up be seen as a disability  like cream .

reply

no,make up should not be seen as a disability .because it is not a signifcant impairment that effects people daily lives.and weather some one wears make up or not.it does not effect their ability to carry on, tasks of daily living the way most disabilities do

2.question fot you to ask me .

do i feel that some cases of aspergers are mis diagnosed .this is a controversial topic ,but i do believe that some case of aspergers are misdiagnosed .

my reply ..,very very true I THINK THE SAME AS YOU DO,i was diagnosed with aspergers in 1991 ,BUT BEFORE PEOPLE WAS SAYING ..AUTISM

3.skin picking ,how do you cope,

reply.i skin pick when i get stressed or anxious ,the worst time was a couple of months agoin september.when i went for a job interview I ENDED UP NOT GETTING THE JOB.when i scratched my knuckle so much that i still have a scar there to day.it scabbed and took two weeks too heal i find that it helps to focus some times when i am anxious and stops me from  going into a full meltdown .but it is still  A destructive habit

4.a question for you to ask me . how do i find it being a author .what is my life style like 

my reply.

two books i have written one about all research i have taken part in,second is .allergies.obsessions sensory.my books can not be 

published because i can not work.it would effect money that we get a lot.SO I FEEL BAD .TERRIBLE ,my books are there for people to 

read understand .be aware.

if i have missed any thing then will recap tomorrow.

                                           mark